Vladimir the Elephant

Vladimir is never found without a smoking jacket. He loves bubblegum cigars, and grape juice, and refers to himself as “Vladimir the Original”. He is originally from Atlanta, but insists on speaking in a British accent. He spends most of his time writing comparison notes dissecting children’s novels into gruesome translations of the psyche, but when he relaxes he likes to time how long it takes to dissolve a caramel in his mouth, or see how many marshmallows he can fit in his mouth. Vladimir is a Aries.